Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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