did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
