At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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