break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no, he came in my armpit
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize