You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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