Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize