..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
