Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
