well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She told me I should be a condom model.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
