A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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