I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize