I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
