You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
