Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
