btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
