I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
