What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
