dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
