Dual....:-)
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
