Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
