dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
