Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
