i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
