fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Your penis caused this!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
