ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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