My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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