32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
