If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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