just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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