Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
