You're my little dorito
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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