He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
