i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
