There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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