ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
