I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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