Hey man sorry I got all grabby
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
