help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
