I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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