Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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