Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
