You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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