I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
