Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
