I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
