I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
