Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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