Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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