you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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