I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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