I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
