didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
