At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
