Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
