It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
