I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
