At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
