im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
