I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
