What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
