Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
