I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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