Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
