Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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