my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
