he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
