he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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