Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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