Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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