you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize