ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize