Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
