Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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