some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
